Posts Tagged ‘Mental State’

Sitting in silence can calm the mind and reduce the stress from constant stimulation. (source)
Audio by Jonathan Fader

Balance is the current theme: A simple idea, yet one we all seem to struggle with. At first the problem is understanding “what does balance looks like for me?”, then it becomes “how do I put some pieces together to achieve balance?” The easiest, and more understood, aspect is the balance in your physical life (fitness nutrition, etc.), but here we will, once again, discuss the challenge of mental balance.

This is a topic I am well versed in, both personally and otherwise. I have written a lot about it in the past, whether from the point of view of meditation and mindfulness, how music effects mood, or the overall notion of “mental Self-defence.” One thing is for sure, this is one of the most difficult areas in your life in which to find balance. (I, myself, am still trying to maintain and manage this one.)

For some of us it is harder and for others it is easier. If everything has always been good in your life, then it’s much easier to maintain a happier mentality, though if you go too far you may find your self having been sold on Toxic Positivity. On the other hand, if all you have ever known is sadness and pain, then getting out of that mindset might be quite difficult and you may find yourself grappling with Clinical Depression. The key, and something we don’t like to admit, is that we actually need a balance of all our emotions. We as humans must learn to control our more animalistic and compulsive tendencies to let our emotions overwhelm us. It’s time to channel the inner Bene Gesserit in all of us, and realize that without this control we are more animal than human.

Once upon a time emotions served us well, guiding us away from danger without thinking too much. Unfortunately, our ancient nervous systems are slow to adapt to the constant input of the 21st century. When we only had to find food, shelter, and company (and safety from animals, the weather, and marauding tribes who want to rape and pillage), we actually had a lot more quiet time! We would work during the daylight, and rest at night while the dangers lurked in the dark. Sure, we lived shorter lives, where everything could kill us, but they were nonetheless far simpler.

Nowadays, our longevity is far less of an issue, but now we have so much more to deal with. Constant notifications from our pockets, constant forms of entertainment, and constant stresses from bills, work, and complicated interpersonal politics with far too many people than we evolved to handle.

No wonder people are losing their shit these days.

The fact is we have lost our mental balance, that is, a balance between being stimulated and finding inner peace through quiet.

If you feel like you are overstimulated and overwhelmed chances are, well, you are. In times like this the trend is towards meditation and time with your own thoughts. But for many the idea of meditation is completely foreign or uncomfortable. Recent studies have even shown that, for some, meditation can actually make their anxiety or depression worse. Unfortunately, as usual, there is no “one size fits all” solution. But for most of us there may be some benefit to finding the calm within the storm through practiced quiet time. Yes, that’s right, I said “quiet time” rather than meditation.

While there is lots of research on the positive benefits of meditation, I often wonder if it really is just about taking quiet time to think and be without all the noise. For me, personally, actually sitting down and meditating is quite challenging, as turning my mind off can be a difficult. So, if it’s not for you, then simply find the time to be calm and quiet.

For me lately, I have found great benefit in taking walks. No music, no podcasts, no companions, just me, myself, and I. During these walks I think about anything, or nothing, without the pressure of asking “am I doing this right” as many people unconsciously do with meditation. Find somewhere you like to go, perhaps close to a park, or just walk to a bench, sit, and people watch, with no real goal. The goal, ultimately, is to find a way just to be.

Simple right? I mean, it really is. Yet so many of us still forget to make the time for quiet. We know when we take care of children it’s important for them to be comfortable in the quiet, yet as adults we seem to forget this skill.

You don’t need to get swept up in some cult-like yoga center, or breathing practices, (though non-cult ones are great, like Wim Hof Breathing). All you need to do is realize that to find your mental balance in this chaotic, loud, and distracting world we have built, is to find the time for some unstructured quiet time, where you can calm your nerves and just be.

Seeking the balance inside that you always needed, may be only a matter of finding comfort in nothing. Not in a philosophical way, a literal one! Is it just that easy? You will not know until you try.

So, seek your mental balance and find your inner quiet, then, hopefully, that storm that so many of us think we see on the horizon may quickly fade into nothing more than dust on the wind.

Written by Jonathan Fader

Off to the World’s I go!

Posted: August 20, 2019 by Jonathan Fader in Competition, Mental Health
Tags: , , ,

No, I am not talking about competitive Krav Maga. An idea by the way I generally do not support. I am however talking about Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. This year will be the first year I compete at the World Master IBJJF Championship in Las Vegas. BJJ is being more and more incorporated into the Krav Maga/Kapap world as we recognized that we must improve ourselves in all aspects of hand to hand combat skills. Training in some grappling outside of Krav is a requirement to be ranked at the upper levels of the UTKM system. Yes, it is that important.

I have written before about why I compete. For me, it keeps me motivated to train. Also, I can learn what I need to work on and grow through competitions.

Leading up to the worlds I have done a few other IBJJF and other competitions. One thing I learned is that I have not been performing at the level I know I can while I am competing. When I freeroll with my training partners I perform much better than when I compete. Over the last few months, I have been trying out different things in hopes of figuring this out. I got in the best shape of my life and trained more than I normally do by far and yet something still wasn’t right. After much thinking, I realized the problem was not physical. While in the past it might have been, that is not the issue now. No, my problem, like many others, is much more complicated.

The problem, you see, has been my mental state all along.

Knowing-is-half.jpg.jpgThe good news is, now that I have identified the main problem I have something to work with. However, knowing is half the battle.

The issue seems to be that when I am rolling with people for fun I am just trying to do the best Jiujitsu I can. I take risks, play around and I have fun. I am free

In competitions, however, I am trying so hard not to screw up. I overthink it and I end up not doing what I know I can do. After losses and wins, I always reflect deeply about my performance. I started to realize that while I certainly lose sometimes to opponents who are clearly more skilled than me, a lot of my losses are because I screw up on something that I shouldn’t have. Only to be thinking, why on earth did I do that.

Then, I realized that for some messed up reason whenever I am clearly winning I managed to lose. I must at some level self-sabotage. This is quite a sobering realization. Not only that I am failing to turn on the warrior mind I know I have but it is also quite possible that I am purposely screwing it up.

The funny thing is I know (FACT) in life or death situations I do just fine because body and mind go into automatic mode and I do what I need to do. In competition, however, as I know it to be a relatively safe environment, I have yet to learn to turn that part of my brain on and not overthink both consciously and subconsciously and end up losing not just the match but to my own worst enemy, myself.

Some solutions to this problem are:

  1. Train more – This is the obvious answer which is true for any style. Train so much that you no longer need to think your body just does. While I will never not train, the level I can train is usually dependent on many factors. On a slow week, I’ll get in 3-4 hours of training. On a crazy week, I will get closer to 10 hours of just BJJ. People often ask me how do I stay motivated. The truth is, I still struggle. Sometimes I train a lot, sometimes I dont. And I don’t feel good or bad about it either way. This then, I suppose, is a work in progress.
  2. Change my mindset – When I compete I should fight to do the best I can rather than worry about points. I know, it’s cliche, but as always cliches are often right no matter how annoying or unoriginal they are. While points do matter, trying to just not lose is nowhere near the same as trying to do the best you can. This is possibly the reason that many competitions now take a submission only approach. Rather than just trying to get points they encourage you to try for the submission no matter the risk. I often enjoy these tournaments, because I tend to do better. Hmm, I wonder why.
  3. Try to turn on my animal instinct – This one is both tricky and not. I have always been a slow starter. This means if my body isn’t totally on I am going to think more rather than just act. The solution for me at least is to start warming up well in advance of my start time. This why I am not going in cold. While some people can simply jump in and compete and win (Marcelo Garcia is notorious for waking up from a nap and winning) I do not think I am one of them.

Though my revolution about my problematic mindset may have come a little to close to the World Master, I will be going in knowing what I need to work on most. I even have several days in Vegas before I compete to contemplate and work on this.

If you are reading this and also struggle at competitions, then perhaps you have not figured out what your individual issue is. Do you train enough? Are you in shape? or is there some other deeper issues you are having trouble with. No matter the reason, if you would like to improve your performance in competition, then it is never too late to figure it out. Especially in the master’s divisions.

So keep training, and for those of you in Vegas, I hope to see you there.

To Act or Not to Act.jpgHesitation can often lead to embarrassment or post scenario guilt or worse. It could lead to much more serious consequences such as permanent disability or death.

For some it can lead to thoughts of why didn’t I make my move, I really liked them. To Act. Or the opposite, why didn’t I do anything to stop them, what they did was not consensual. Not to Act.

In both above examples, there is only regret and/or shame. But when it comes to failure to act in a violent confrontation it can lead to catastrophic consequences.

To Act (Action), or not to act (Inaction) are the dichotomies of Action vs Reaction and Avoidance as well as self-defense in general. In the face of Violence, an action is faster than reaction. One can Act first, to avoid a reactive action. Or you can Choose inaction as an attempt to avoid the scenario altogether. It can be a tough decision, but for Krav Maga, action is usually preferred over inaction even if that means running.

Krav Maga is known for its aggression in the face of violence but aggression is only a tool and means nothing if a person fails to “turn it on”. If in that moment of need, that second you had to strike first or to block or to simply resist you choose inaction then it could lead to your own demise both literally or figuratively (psychological trauma).

Often when teaching students even under light stress they often hesitate to act. Or as is quite common they “screw up” the technique and stop. I will tell them or yell at them “keep going, don’t stop” because that moment of hesitation is all it takes for the attacker to re-coup and re-engage offensively.

When training people, we need to train their aggression to be appropriate and well timed so that when the moment comes no matter what happens even if an error occurs they can fight through and survive. However, if they hesitate and instead of channeling that aggression through retzev, techniques and other strategies and principles their training and aggression is for naught.

This is why situational and high-stress training is very important in Krav Maga or any good self defense training so that we can train the brain and nervous system to recognize situations or scenarios and act or react quickly without hesitation.

To act without hesitation often means to act with confidence. Without confidence in one’s skill then it can be harder to act.

One of the easiest ways to build confidence in your skill, speed or timing is to practice more and practice often. With practice also comes the knowledge of what you are capable of and will help you better recognize when you should avoid scenarios all together so that action or hesitation is not even a factor.

To act or not to act that is the questions, but hesitate to act in the moment of decision and it might not matter at all, philosophically or otherwise.

Be Decisive.jpg