I recently endured the worst ass kicking of my life. (Don’t worry, it was voluntary.)

I undertook the infamous Green Belt test that we speak of in hushed whispers, respectful awe, and commiserative laughs. As the most physically demanding test UTKM runs students through, this ordeal could be thought of as the peak of our simulated violence. We build up your skill, aggression, and tenacity to face the brutality of the Green Belt, then shift gears to focus on technique and theory for subsequent tests. The anticipation had me considering the words of Walt Whitman’s “A Song of Joys”, running them on a loop in my head like an emboldening mantra.

O to struggle against great odds, to meet enemies undaunted!
To be entirely alone with them, to find how much one can stand!
To look strife, torture, prison, popular odium, face to face!
To mount the scaffold, to advance to the muzzles of guns with perfect nonchalance!
To be indeed a God!

“A Song of Joys” – Leaves of Grass, Walt Whitman (1891)

I definitely “struggled against great odds” and pushed the “find how much one can stand” envelope, though I was a bit “daunted” for parts of it and the jury is still out on the “be a god” bit. Given that I survived (unless I am writing this through a spirit medium) I figured I should take the time to jot down a few notes from my harrowing experience for the benefit of others, so they may learn from my missteps, but also to solidify several moments of self-reflection gained throughout.

As with every physical endurance test the best advice is start your preparation early! You don’t need to completely overhaul your fitness (do so if you can), but I’d recommend upping the intensity of your regular exercise routine and adding more frequent anaerobic cardio is a minimum. On top of regular exercise I gave up the pints and returned to running, though in hindsight a more scientific approach was warranted. If you want to accomplish more than “slight improvement” check out any of the “rebuild yourself” programs out there (I dig Pat Mac, The Bioneer, and Athlean-X). Ultimately I threw myself on the alter of reality and re-conceptualized my lack of amazing physical transformation as a test of the “self-defence doesn’t require you to be an athlete” assertion. With this in mind let’s start with the physical observations, followed by the mental and emotional.

Physical

There is never a perfect time to do anything. Life is chaos and suffering is inevitable.

With test day was a week out I was feeling confident and capable… then out of nowhere, I woke up with a sore throat. No big deal, there was a lot of that going around, it would come and go within a couple of days. On day two I was feeling really rough, on day three I was fighting a brutal cough. I assured all parties involved (myself included) that I could recover in time, as basic exercises were still manageable.

I did not recover in time.

Test day arrived and I could breathe without coughing. (Yaaay!) However, even my deepest breaths couldn’t overcome the swelling in my sinuses and bronchioles, which meant I couldn’t actually absorb the oxygen I’m drawing in. (Booo!)

In the real world you don’t get to choose when you are attacked. Which led me to the conclusion; “Why not stack my fitness as-is challenge with health as-is?” This seemed to be a reasonable idea in the moment, but halfway through the 2km run at the start of the test I realized, though gasping breaths and seizing ankles, that this was an unwise course of action. Fascinating and educational, but unwise.

The demos and theory discussion sections of the test were relatively straightforward, but at the midway point, applying my techniques under more realistic duress, I discovered a new level of exhaustion. My body was directing the limited oxygen to maintaining my internal organs and vital functions rather than fueling my extremities. (there should have been room for negotiation, but my autonomic nervous system is a selfish jerk.) I had to choose between legs or arms, I couldn’t use both; greater exertion meant greater weakness on the balance. When managing distance and working angles, my hands dropped. When throwing punches, my feet were encased in cement. At the most extreme I found myself in a bad control position versus a knife and couldn’t react to correct it, as my hands felt numb and useless.

I was not looking forward to sparring or the chaos of the “Circle of Power.”

But hope springs eternal! If I can’t move and strike I would cover my liver with my elbow and tough it out, deflecting what I can.  Focus on defence, that’ll be good enough, right? After the first solid body shot connected it dawned on me that I had brought piss to a shit fight. Time to “find how much one can stand.”

Sure, our hero got a few good shots in, but I spent the majority of my time desperately rolling with the punches and kicks as the selfless volunteers blitzkrieg‘d my torso and legs. More importantly I gained a great deal of insight into the reality of fitness (or perhaps “un-fitness”). I’ve never been that exhausted. I’m no athlete and illness compounded that to provide me with a sort of “you-are-really-out-of-shape simulator.” Which resulted in my first epiphany: I never want to be in a state of physical fitness that would result in me being this wrecked in the real world. I know some people reach that level of exhaustion in our Warrior classes, let alone a test, (everyone has their own priorities) but now that I’ve had a taste and don’t ever want that to be me.

On a more positive note, I had been rocking nightly tibialis raises (via these foot straps), which appears to have worked, as my knees, the main cause for concern, were fine after the many and varied forms of strain.

Mental

There is a theory that your will gives in long before your body does. Navy SEALs explain this as the “40% rule“, I’m not sure how accurate that is but I certainly reached a point where mental toughness made the difference between success and failure. We talk a lot about aggression and “scrappiness” in Warrior class, how being able to dig deep in the moment can save you. “Embrace the suck!” and “DO SOMETHING!” are common refrains to communicate this idea at UTKM. These concepts are only theoretical until they aren’t. If you put in the work during class it comes out of you in your darkest moments of desperation. Not only is scrappiness the will to claw your way out of hell, it also encompasses the notion of composure; your ability to get hit and stay mentally/emotionally stable. Don’t run from pain, keep facing your opponent in sparring, laugh off big hits or bad counters, this mindset will carry you through. Being so tired you can barely lift your hands, but in that same moment mustering the will to repeatedly headbutt someone who is wearing a helmet while you yourself are not, that is aggression and scrappiness made manifest!

While we are training the aforementioned attitudes, we are also trying to build up a layer of adaptability in ourselves. The quote “learn it all, then forget it all”, often attributed to Bruce Lee, means you reach a level of understanding and ability that allows you to perform without thinking (or overthinking) about the action. In our application this goes a step further as we want to foster the instinct apply fundamental/principles whenever you find yourself in a non-textbook situation. No matter how sideways it has gone, always think critically, maintain your base, employ Retzef, leverage “Hard on Soft, Soft on Hard”, etc.. The techniques are your tools, the fundamentals/principles are your guide, the context and environment of the moment are your workspace: “I wanted to take him down, but there is a wall right here so I’m smashing him into it instead,” or “I went for a groin kick but he blocked so I kneed him in the face.”

In class I often add context to drills by introducing conditions or restrictions that impact the outcome I need to reach: “Is the exit behind me?” “What if it is behind the attacker and I have to go through him/her instead of backing away?” “If I’m alone I can disengage and run, but if my kids are with me I have to control and takedown the attacker while they escape.” Apply this training method liberally and hopefully fewer variables will be new to you when it matters. Or at the very least you will develop your ability to pivot your end goal on the fly.

My ability to execute clean technique having gone completely out the window during the worst moments of the test, I relied heavily on “creative violence” whenever I was losing control of a knife or couldn’t get out from under Karch. I immediately made a mental note to step out of my comfort zone more in training. Push the creativity and problem solving in Warrior class so that I’m not relying on the same three strikes to solve all control & disengage drills (and encourage the same in others).

Emotional

It is a cliché, but when you reach total exhaustion the techniques and opponents are irrelevant, you are fighting against yourself. You can trust your self-preservation instincts to use any and all tricks to make you avoid pain and seek comfort. It wants you to quit. It knows that this is a simulation and everything ends if you simplay say “I’m done.” Very tempting! (Don’t take it personally, you aren’t weak, this impulse is reported in actual life-or-death situations such as drowning.)

It isn’t a bad idea to consider what motivates you before it matters. More accurately, what maintains you when the end of your rope is reached. When I was dying mid-test and I can’t think about merely surviving, that isn’t enough (for me anyway), I have to think about “making it home”; the cost of failure is a more effective motivator. At times my aggression was driven from a bit of indignation, needing to “give as good as I get.” Interestingly, I also found inspiration in those who have shed blood and sweat with me over the last five years. The thought of “I can’t disappoint Petra, Ted, Anna, Karch, etc.” drove me to kick people in the nuts more than once!

While we try our best to provide realistic resistance, there is a considerable difference between training and reality. Even in Warrior class we can’t go 100% or the defender needs to dial up their force to match (how’s your weekly concussion?) Thus I express my sincere gratitude to my fellow students who are willing to put their bodies at risk to bring realism to the tests. Karch in particular, having used elements of the UTKM curriculum on the job, is skilled at imposing the “Giles Corey experience” during the active groundwork portions of the test. This is where you really start to appreciate the “Avoid the Ground” principle. Pinned under someone who knows how to maintain hip control and generally “be heavy”, breathing was even more challenging and panic started creeping in. Which led me down the road of the real Krav Maga, a pathway upon which eye gouges, throat strikes, and other savagery are your best friends. Apply technique or default to fundamentals, not losing hope or breaking down in the face of overwhelming resistance is the truly difficult part.

One of the previously elusive pieces of combative advice I’ve picked up over the years is “control your breathing, control the fight.” Not only does controlling your breath stabilize your physical abilities, it will also help maintain your calm. This is especially relevant when you feel completely ineffectual and have to exercise all of the aforementioned mental tactics. Therefore, working through the feeling of being overwhelmed should become an important aspect of my training; testing my emotional limits rather than just the physical. Going forward I’ll seek opportunities, when it is safe and appropriate to do so, to have my partner(s) put me in a place where feel like I can’t do anything so that I can focus on the mental/emotional struggle. This isn’t about overcoming the resistance, technique mastery will come with time, it is about learning to handle my screaming brain and overcome myself.

Even after achieving success, I felt like a fraud. I immediately wanted to book a re-do test the following week! Perhaps it was the inner shame of taking a beating in front of an audience, maybe it was self-loathing for the techniques I screwed up, or good old fashioned imposter syndrome. Whatever the source, the feeling passed in time. Don’t be surprised if you feel the same, we are pushing you as hard as possible, this too shall pass.

Conclusions

Your Green Belt test struggle will be unique to you. We will do our best to challenge your strengths and exploit your weaknesses. No matter how well prepared your are, we will push you to your limit in the hope of bringing out the best in you.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do your best to prepare, or that preparation won’t make your life a little easier. So here is my advice:

  • Get fit.
    • Make your defensively and offensively capabilities last longer. This may even increase your chances of avoidance, de-escalation, or escape.
    • Include aerobic and anaerobic cardio; the former builds sustained endurance, the latter is for short flurries of action and quicker recovery.
  • Cultivate a scrappy mindset.
    • This combination of toughness, creativity, and tenacity will get you out of a bind.
  • Develop your aggression switch
    • Figure out how to activate your fury. Is it the fear of your loved ones being harmed or losing you? Is it your indignation at being attacked?
  • Learn and apply your fundamental principles.
  • Practice creativity
    • Avoid repeating patterns (in fighting and control), these can be exploited.
    • Sure, learn some go-to moves, but try new combos and reactions during training to increase your capacity to incorporate environment and context on the fly.
  • Seek realism and controlled anguish
    • Step beyond merely being physically tired. Look for in-class opportunities to stimulate emotional distress in a controlled setting in order to deal with it the same way you overcome physical distress.

If nothing else, I hope the above information reduces your fears a bit. Ultimately, if you want to know more, find someone who has completed the belt test you are facing and ask.

Written by: Corey O. – UTKM Green Belt

Audio by Jonathan Fader

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